I've been rather busy today. Went to the docs with my son. He'll be undergoing some tests. There is a lump in his throat and it hasn't changed in over a year. More like two to three years. I swear this doc is lazy or something. Anyway, kind of worried about him. Hoping they can figure out what this lump is or at least get him to someone who can shed some light on it. Staying positive that it's something minor and easily fixed! :)

Then I worked on my events for fundraising. I have some links to share with all of you! Keeping the faith that this will pull together and we can get back on track. I can't believe how expensive it is to be sick! The first is a Go Fund Me account. Not sure how much I'll need to pull together for all of this, but needed to put a number in there. Here's the link:  http://www.gofundme.com/m06mas

Next is an event I am hosting with Tupperware. I'm making this a Mystery Host event! That means that one lucky person will be the host! No idea how much you could earn though. That will depend on the amount of the event! Please feel free to share with friends and family. You never know who may need something or be looking for something to be replaced! Here's the link to the Facebook event:  https://www.facebook.com/events/1568479970065634  If you can't make it, you can always contribute by shopping the party link here:  http://bit.ly/FBCancerevent

Thank you for reading along as I share my story. I appreciate each and every one of you!

Here's to a productive and great day tomorrow! Have a wonderful night!

Hugs <3

Well, chemo didn't start on Feb 2nd. Once again more obstacles arose. This time with the shower makeover. Sometimes I think that the maintenance where I live is incompetent. They do things so backwards! The contractor ended up breaking the new shower system that was installed and left me with no hot water. :( When I questioned him about the things that were wrong, he replied 'I'm not a plumber, so' Well so, how can somebody do the work if they aren't completely qualified? Really?!

On a brighter  note, I was able to attend my twin grand-daughters birthday party. I actually spent the night before there and helped somewhat with decorations and such. We even surprised my oldest daughter with a birthday cake too! Was a lot of fun and I loved the expression on her face! She had no idea the cake was for her! lol

Now I'm prepping, or at least trying to, for my youngest daughters birthday on the 18th! Hands are busy trying to make her gift! Of course I can only work in spurts due to the pain in my hands, so I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I really want to finish this project! I'll post a pic of her with it after she sees it. Don't want to spoil the surprise, lol

I've also been trying to eat more solid foods. That's a task if ever there was one! Steak is totally our of the question, lol Pulled pork is quite nice though. The more tender the meat, the easier to eat. Hey, it's better than oatmeal, lol Mashed potatoes and gravy is ok, as long as they are not over spiced. Almost out of applesauce, need to do a store run soon, lol

Today I will be working on a fundraiser. Already have an event set up on Facebook for Tupperware. A friend said I should set up a gofundme account. Haven't done that yet, maybe that's the next step. Would love to find the needed resources to help defer the costs of medications, transportation and my upcoming new diet.

Currently, the choices of paying the bills and funding the treatment costs are staggering. Needless to say, I'm falling behind. That feeling is the worst! I'm about to lose my storage and not sure that I can make my car payment. :( If I lose either, I will be devastated. So fundraising is the only thing I know to so to help myself out of this mess.

I'll post an update later today or tomorrow with links to my events and such :) Wishing you the best for your day! Stay warm! Hugs

Well, I've been slacking somewhat and haven't posted in a few months. So much has happened since then and it's going to take a bit to get caught up. Get your coffee (tea or whatever) and settle in for a bit of reading. :)

It came to my attention in December that I would need to have my top teeth removed due to the damage of bone and tissue that surrounded them. The joint in  my right jaw was painful and stiff. Couldn't open my mouth fully and still can't. The pain is still there and I haven't found anything to bring relief!

After having my top teeth removed, eating has become more of a chore than anything. My diet mainly consists of oatmeal, applesauce and smoothies. I was looking forward to actually being able to eat a normal meal until this Wednesday. I had an appointment with a new radiologist (because mine had been transferred) and found out that she wants me to have the bottom teeth removed now. Of course they set me up an appointment with a prosthodontist. Sadly they do not take insurance and are cash only. For a consultation I will need $350 just to walk in the door! Seriously?! Any treatments thereafter will also be out of pocket. I seriously wish that more would take the insurance.

I had gone back to my ENT for a debridement. Three days later, I had an ear ache and my ear was plugged, so I called him to find out what was going on. Of course I always end up leaving a message for his medical assistant who I believe is over worked or something because she is always dropping the ball and doesn't seem to be able to get a handle on her position. Anyway, three weeks later, I get a call and have to go into the office for a follow up. At this time, he informed me that I now have an infection and oh by the way while he was in there, he removed the eustachian tube and that's why it's plugged up and aches. Just keep doing my rinses and at some point he'll need to put a tube in there to help it drain. He was also quite upset and very rude about the fact that my radiation and chemo treatments had not yet started. Of course that was somehow due to me dropping the ball. But wait! Do I have control over scheduling? Do I have control over the procedures that MUST be done prior to treatment? Really? My fault??

I have also learned that the ear tubes and removal of teeth MUST be done prior to having radiation. WHY? Well because there are a ton of side effects I'm about to face! First of all, there will be a dry, rash type irritation on my skin. There will also be some blistering inside my mouth. The saliva composition changes and can rot teeth and cause sores in my mouth as well. My diet will mainly consist of liquids. If not tolerated, I could be looking at a feeding tube for the course of my treatments.

Now with chemo, they first had wanted to do a targeted form. This would have had minimal side effects. However with recent testing and findings, they have decided to go with full spectrum treatments. This can cause weight loss, hair loss, fatigue and even the minimal use of hands and feet just to name a few. This is scheduled to begin on February 2nd.

I have feverishly been trying to pull together a support system and trying to find help getting things done while I go through treatment. My biggest dilemma is finding someone that can help me with personal care and light house work. Fixing meals, tending my cats, etc... My youngest son will be taking me to treatments, though I have no idea how I will afford the cost of fuel. I'm totally hoping that the cost stays down for a while, lol

I have never been able to ask for help. I've always been very independent and take a  lot of pride in doing for myself and figuring things out. This is the time that I have no choice but depend on others for the things I need. When you ask someone and they agree, only to have them back out at last minute, it sucks in a big way! Really goes to show who you can truly count on! I could really use my sister right now! She was the ONE person that always had my back! I love you sis and miss you more every day! ^j^

The Beginning Of My Battle

After having an MRI ordered by my neurologist for my fibromyalgia and other issues I was having with dizzy spells, migraines and vision, it revealed a mass of sorts in my sinus cavity. It was put off as an infection and I was told I could take over the counter meds for colds.

Needless to say, they didn't help. I called my primary doc to see if I could be seen to find out if there was something else I could take to help get rid of the infection. Nope, said there was nothing they could do I should take mucinex.

Several months passed with no relief, so I called back. Still same response. I have a cold and over the counter meds should clear it up. I should get out and walk for fresh air, get a job to make myself feel better. Stop calling for meds because I wasn't getting any.

After hearing this over and over for about 3 years, I decided it was time they needed to listen to me. So I called the office and told them no way was I listening to them it was time for them to listen to me. I wanted to see somebody and didn't much care who. So they gave me an appointment with the nurse practitioner.

I went to see her. She asked what my problem was and how could she help me. First thing I said was, listen to what I had to say. Then I told her no way was I leaving that day unless there was some sort of plan in place to find out why I had been congested in my right nasal for 3 years. She hooked me up with a cat scan.

The cat scan revealed a tumor. One that had taken over the entire cavity. This was something that had been growing for a very long time. So of course I was sent to a specialist to follow up. He looked me over, checked out my ct results and said, yep we need to do a biopsy. Well, he tried to do it right then, however I started to hemorage in his office. Not a pretty sight!

So I was scheduled for surgery to get the biopsy and to remove the tumor. He said all went well. Of course I find out later that not only did he remove the tumor, but also the surrounding bone and tissue. I also found out that it had grown behind my eye and into my brain and ear canal. And yes, it was cancer! He had previously said it was most likely not cancer but more just a blockage or polyps. Boy was he wrong!

I now have a team of oncologists. Great group of guys! Full of words and descriptions that only college professors could understand. After having it broke down to normal terms, it appears that I will be undergoing a series of radiation treatments while also receiving chemo treatments. You guessed it, 5 days a week for a period of about 6 months. Seriously?? What the hell!?

On top of this, they have found several lumps in my neck and I will be having a series of scans and most likely more biopsy's to determine what they are and if they too are cancer. My life is taking a drastic turn right now. Though I need to maintain composure and remain strong so my kids don't completely frazzle out.

So with treatments and appointments piling up. The cost of fuel, supplies for nasal rinses, a humidifier, gauze and other items not covered by insurance, I'm looking at trying to find a way to pay for all of this while my income is limited to SSDI. Tupperware is a great business, but if you're sick and can't get out to do the work, there's no income! What little I can accomplish online goes to upkeep of my website and other expenses to maintain an active status.

I live with my disabled son. Honestly as a caregiver per say, he is doing his best. Some things I have to have help from others because it's just to creepy for me or him to get past. Things that most take for granted. Like getting to the bathroom, taking a shower, dressing, etc... Yes he's a great kid. I'm thankful I have attentive caring kids!

I've worked most of my life to raise 4 kids on my own. Sometimes up to 3 jobs at a time. I worked right up until I received my disability and then tried to continue doing something to keep busy. My kids are devastated by this. My family is in shock. How could something like this happen? How could this go unnoticed and untreated for so long?

How do these doctors sleep at night knowing they are overlooking something so important as a tumor in one of their patients? Is it my insurance type? Because I don't have loads money? Because I'm disabled? I basically feel like I was mistreated because of who I am and what my tax bracket is! Just not fair! Everyone should be treated the same regardless of who they are, where they come from or how much is in their bank account!

My only hope from this point is to get past the treatments and move on with the remainder of my life. Following the plan should make a difference in where I am now and where I want to be when finished. Keep the faith and hold your friends and family close!

I'll do my best to post updates. Keeping track of progress or set backs here for anyone who may also be dealing with similar issues.

Love and Light!
Berta